Conventional Limericks w/messages...conventional rythm and stress.

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ta TUM/ ta ta TUM/ ta ta TUM ta  But cheat if necessary!

NO SURPRISE
She’s part Chow they said at the Pound
but mostly Lab was what we found
until we sit to eat
and there at our feet,
cajoles a genuine chow hound.

LOSING GRACEFULLY
You give your all, its not enough
and failure makes you kind of gruff
you try hard to smile,
to hide your dark guile
and come up with trickier stuff.

OBESITY DINING
Avoid each dangerous cafe
highlighting the endless buffet
where customers stuff
much more than enough
to get most for what they pay.

FOOLING THE CLOCK
A gal who looked young for her years
Was challenged by most of her peers.
How come, you look so nice
were you packed in dry ice,
as ageing was stopped, it appears.

TODAY'S VOCABULARY LESSON
She said see my new furbelow
but I was too stupid to know
that ruffles she meant
when downward I bent,
and said "Your curly hairs don't show."

Palin makes me shudder and think
why this creature must always wink.
She always tells lies,
not batting her eyes,
While all of us in horror blink!

Folks who shuffle off to Buffalo
thought that shuffle was a way to go
but found that it means
severe winters scene
and they will shuffle lots of snow.

Seattle can be loads of fun
with something there for everyone
clean water, tall trees,
grand mountains, blue seas
but don't come here in search of sun.

The folks who live in Baltimore
all brag about their ocean shore.
Stay in good humor
its not a rumor
that crabs are what their famous for.

Hunting Eden, I restless roam
I know for sure it's south of Nome.
Tampa's too hot,
a safe place it's not,
I guess I'll just stay here at home.

A fellow who loved doing tricks
wove baskets from green willow sticks
and the tirck he could do
was hide contents from view
of the watching fair going hicks.

With each poetic endeavor,
I try to make sense yet never
quit rhyming each line
with ageless design
so readers won't doubt that I’m clever!

A werewolf who lived in a cave
loved ladies he dug from a grave.
They never said no
or moved to and fro,
nor asked him to shower or shave.

Nomads must envy the spider
whose needs, her web can provider
and off on a trip,
she won't need a grip
her household is all packed insider.

A computer's great when it works
despite the gremlin that lurks
inside each hard disk,
compounding the risk,
we'll suffer from its spiteful quirks.

If you would trace your family tree,
be braced to find some strange debris.
Years long ago past
when manners were cast,
We're related to the chimpanzee.

State run Lotteries are seedy
that victimize the most needy
who hopeless, must try,
for prize, do or die,
which lowers the tax of the greedy.

If you provoke our president,
you face his Texas regiment,
whose too eager forces
ride in on wood horses,
and leave us to clean their excrement.

When all is writ, and truth be shown
Each of us have some wild oats sown.
When we judge others,
Sisters and Brothers,
those with no sin, can cast first stone

Man is wise we foolish pretend
He is so dumb his reign will end
We cut down the trees
and poison the seas
and lose good air from warming trend

Most children we have taught to read
but those who can't will not succeed
and that cost is more
than schools we ignore,
we build more jails to fill that need!

If we have the perfect system,
Why then these faults, let us list'em
Poor sleep in our street
with nothing to eat
Those are the facts but we twist'em "

No warning signs or whistle
to signal an oncoming missile
It's nuclear flash
Turns treasure to ash!
Life blown-off like down from a thistle!

I do not kill maliciously
When I react instinctively,
with no trace of hate
to obliterate
Mosquitoes who choose to sample me!

His cape was placed to deflect the bull
No damage was expectable
But the bull with a grin
Said, "This time I win,
cuz you do not respect the bull

Dachau's statue is erected
for thousands of Jews selected.
But Germans, that score
Was millions or more.
Has guilt, your count affected?

The GOP set precedent
and their intent seems evident
They must favor dope,
turned legal, I hope
Look at who they named President!

OUR NATIONAL DEBT
George Bush had the brash audacity
To push tax cut mendacity
Ignoring the day
our children must pay.
It's no skin off his ass, you see

NEW NUCLEAR PLANTS?
Chernobyls atoms stilll collect
In oceans where all lands connect
Will the lie arrive
that we can survive
nuclear waste and its affect.

Lifelong it's goodness we measure
To feel pain we must know pleasure
for aging will bring
Death's ultimate sting,
but sting, where is thy treasure?

HUBBEL
They've put a telescope in space
to see if there's an alien race,
perhaps looking back, our follies to track,
hoping to see one friendly face.

DO YOU KNOW HIM
This boy was short on social graces,
friendships he foolish displaces,
Ignoring each cue,
for please and thank you,
so parents he rashly disgraces.

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